10.26.2004

Shhh! I Know Victoria's Secret...or, "Gisele must have a freakish wingspan"...

I will preface this by saying that prior to this experience, I had never bought anything from VS except unmentionables, and even those are of questionable quality. So God only knows what I was thinking buying actual clothes from them. I mean, the second half of every single catalog they have published has contained some of the most horrific clothes seen this side of 1985. Y'all know what I'm talking about -- the faded, oversized, neon hue sweats, the acid washed, pleated, high waist jeans.

[TANGENT: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, INSANE FASHION EDITORS AT LUCKY MAGAZINE, HIGH WAIST PANTS SHOULD NEVER MAKE A COMEBACK]

For whatever reason, something evil and unnatural prompted me to purchase clothes from VS.com. The forbidden fruit Satan tempted me with came in the form of boucle sweaters (see below). They looked so cozy! So cute! So perfectly form fitting! You can't tell me they don't look cute in those pictures!

I bought two -- a pink cowl neck, and a black wrap sweater with adorable velvet ribbon tie. Imagine, then, my horror when I received them several days later, only to find they are really just slightly prettier versions of STRAIGHT JACKETS. Seriously, I have never seen arms that long on clothing in my life, and these were size small! I tried the first one on -- I went to put my arm in, and my hand just kept getting caught in the yards of boucle, stretching the sleeve every which way, until I finally was able to get my hand free. I did the same with the other arm. Ever the optimist, I thought, "This is stretchy fabric, so surely it will shrink back to nicely fit my body, right? RIGHT?!" Of course not.

So I immediately ordered Koprah to tie the long sleeves behind my back and drive me right over to the loony bin for being stupid enough to buy VS clothes. Needless to say, the sweaters were returned, and I guess I can say I am the better for it, since I know the truth about VS' ultimate crapiness.

1 Comments:

Blogger Cyberjust said...

They have clothes there?

January 26, 2009 at 5:38 PM  

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