10.31.2004

On voting...fashionably


B-ChurchTax
Originally uploaded by lilmisstramp.
I wanted to use this space to talk about my Paris Hilton Halloween costume (it was hot) or to make fun of the Victoria's Secret holiday catalog with the $500,000 choker but I'm too mad to talk about those things right now.

I'm mad because I went to church this weekend and during the homily, the priest used his time up there to tell me to vote for George Bush.

This makes me so mad. There's no gray area here, not for profit organizations cannot support a candidate. If they want to, they can go down to their local IRS office and change their tax exemption.

Now would I have been mad if the priest had said to vote for John Kerry? Abso-fucking-lutely.

There is a danger in a church supporting a candidate. You have a captive audience of people who believe that God is speaking through the leader of their church. And who is going to argue with God?

So, in my view, the Catholic Church is supporting Bush. They are supporting a candidate who is pro death penalty, a candidate who would rather help his rich friends than the poor and a candidate who started a war in which many, many innocent lives have been claimed. Where is the outrage over these things, Catholic Church? Is this truly your candidate? I'm not saying John Kerry is better or worse, but how about NOT SUPPORTING A CANDIDATE LIKE THE LAW SAYS.

Jesus Christ.

Anyways, rant over. I want to encourage everyone to vote. Vote Kerry, vote Bush, vote Nader, vote Mickey Mouse...just vote. The most fashionable accesory you can wear on Tuesday is the "I VOTED" sticker you'll get at the polls.

10.26.2004

Shhh! I Know Victoria's Secret...or, "Gisele must have a freakish wingspan"...

I will preface this by saying that prior to this experience, I had never bought anything from VS except unmentionables, and even those are of questionable quality. So God only knows what I was thinking buying actual clothes from them. I mean, the second half of every single catalog they have published has contained some of the most horrific clothes seen this side of 1985. Y'all know what I'm talking about -- the faded, oversized, neon hue sweats, the acid washed, pleated, high waist jeans.

[TANGENT: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, INSANE FASHION EDITORS AT LUCKY MAGAZINE, HIGH WAIST PANTS SHOULD NEVER MAKE A COMEBACK]

For whatever reason, something evil and unnatural prompted me to purchase clothes from VS.com. The forbidden fruit Satan tempted me with came in the form of boucle sweaters (see below). They looked so cozy! So cute! So perfectly form fitting! You can't tell me they don't look cute in those pictures!

I bought two -- a pink cowl neck, and a black wrap sweater with adorable velvet ribbon tie. Imagine, then, my horror when I received them several days later, only to find they are really just slightly prettier versions of STRAIGHT JACKETS. Seriously, I have never seen arms that long on clothing in my life, and these were size small! I tried the first one on -- I went to put my arm in, and my hand just kept getting caught in the yards of boucle, stretching the sleeve every which way, until I finally was able to get my hand free. I did the same with the other arm. Ever the optimist, I thought, "This is stretchy fabric, so surely it will shrink back to nicely fit my body, right? RIGHT?!" Of course not.

So I immediately ordered Koprah to tie the long sleeves behind my back and drive me right over to the loony bin for being stupid enough to buy VS clothes. Needless to say, the sweaters were returned, and I guess I can say I am the better for it, since I know the truth about VS' ultimate crapiness.


I hate you, Gisele. Posted by Hello


argh. Posted by Hello

10.13.2004

A letter, between friends

Dear Bee,

I owe you an apology. Well, sort of.

You see, when you bought your fUGGS at Tar-jay, I was kinda like OMG WTF, I'm not going to be friends with her anymore, she is SUCH a trend whore.

But, Bee, we've been friends a while now and I'd like to think our friendship runs deeper than leather and faux shearling. In fact, I've had my own fair share of trend whoring (*ahem* juicy *ahem*) and you've stood by me.

So Bee, imagine my surprise this weekend, when I was shopping at the new Tar-jay and came upon the fUGGS. Bee, I want you to know, I bought them and now I must stick my fUGG covered foot in my mouth because I love them.

So Bee, I'm sorry.

Love,

lilmisstramp

P.S. the fUGGS are on sale for $15.
P.P.S. tar-jay does price adjustments for 14 days

10.07.2004

You'll never get a massage in this town again

So I treated myself to a massage on Tuesday. John Edwards was going to be on TV and I wanted to be totally relaxed to watch him debate Darth Cheney. I was kind of hoping for Cheney to get real angry and go all Mike Tyson on him and bite his ear off. That didn't happen, but John Edwards did look hot. But my point is this, I got a massage.

I went to the new (ok, new to me) Aveda Jouvance Spa in Pentagon City. I usually go to Elizabeth Arden (also in PC) but they are currently on my banned list for their crappy service and high prices.

The massage was GREAT. Of course, being me, I had to totally ruin the experience. When I was getting dressed, I tripped and knocked over an entire table filled with spa oils and *eek* candles. Now I tripped because I was trying to pull on my underwear and it got wrapped around the heel on my shoe and I fell over. Note to self: Put underwear on before putting heels on. The massage therapist came in and was like "omg are ok?!?". I was, but there was candle wax all over the walls and the floor.

So if that wasn't bad enough, when I finally got dressed, I went to go pay at the cash register which was downstairs. Yup, I tripped and fell down the stairs. All the snooty spa biatches there were cracking up. I can't really blame them because I'm sure I looked hilarious spread eagle at the bottom of the stairs, smelling like a giant peppermint candy cane with the line of the face cradle on my face.

I'm probably on their banned list now.

Video Game Vixen

Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some clothes shopping, and lately, home decor shopping since I moved into my new digs over the summer. But I never thought it would come to this...

My lovely boyfriend, Koprah, has been working his magic on me, very slowly, slyly, and meticulously...to the point where...I am actually EXCITED about shopping for...VIDEO GAMES. In fact, last night I rushed out of class, whizzing by Lil and Coast, so that I could get my butt to Best Buy and spendspendspend. What did I buy? Something that Koprah has been lobbying me for for some time now...a Playstation 2. Now, Koprah could not be more excited about this, because he convinced me he HAD to have it BY October 23, which is the day he is taking part in a very meaningful day-long event. A Madden Football Tournament. Yes, these are grown men. Yes, they are all police officers. And yes, they are all most certainly GEEKS. But as long as I am being the Best Girlfriend In The World and running out to buy the system STAT! so that my baby can practice and bring home the big bucks, I figured I might as well get a little something for myself...

which brings me to my shopping confession...last night, after my trip to Hell -- I mean Best Buy -- I went to the Target next door, and proceeded to purchase...FAUX UGG BOOTS. Now before you exclaim "Oh no she di'iiiiiiin't!!!" let me explain...well, I can't really explain what made me do it, for real Uggs are mad ugly and very passe, and faux ones are just tacky -- but I think it was divine intervention, because those things are the most toasty, comfy shoes I have placed on my feet in some time. So go get some already!

10.05.2004

I present to you...the Armani burka!

Voila!

I promise you, I cannot make this stuff up.