Shopping Epiphanies

There are several items on my personal "I would never buy this to save my life, and those who do look ridiculous!" list. What I learned on a shopping trip this weekend is that this list isn't quite as set in stone as I'd thought. Items currently included on this list are tacky off-the-shoulder 80s style T-shirts that are oh so fashionable these days, straight leg "skinny" jeans, anything patent leather, anything by Tommy Hilfiger (though I confess to liking the H. Hilfiger line), hot pink shoes a la Hilary Duff, and ruffly ultra-mini skirts.

So I discovered that there are certain times when the planets align just so, forcing you to break self-imposed fashion laws such as these. So while on a mini spree last Friday night -- YES, I was SHOPPING on FRIDAY NIGHT because I am a LOSER -- though I prefer to think of it as being "dedicated" to my "craft". So anyway -- I am at Nordstrom and I decide to go the long way and walk by the shoe department on my way up to the t.b.d. section (does anyone know what that stands for?), just to scan as I go by, when I see them...on the sale rack...HOT PINK, PATENT LEATHER BCBGirls shoes with beautiful pointy toes, a vampy heel, and a badass looking buckle-thingy on the toe. They were just so pretty. There was a sales attendant right there, telling me how pretty they were so she could get her commission. I was blinded by the prettiness of these shoes, despite the fact that they embodied all of the things that I normally despise. There was no going back, I HAD to buy them.

So I wore them out on the town Saturday night, and they were the biggest hit! Every single female within seeing distance oohed and aahed over them, and every guy stared in morbid fascination -- they thought the shoes were the hotness, and several admitted they were really scared of the weapon-power that the pointy shoes could be to certain male parts if provoked. Oh how I love my new pretty, pretty Hilary Duff shoes!

As a sidenote to this story, when I finally made it up to the t.b.d. department (with TWO new pairs of pink shoes in tow), I tried on several pairs of 7 jeans...the reason it has taken me so long to try these on is their price tag -- as much as I wished I could spend 150 bucks or more on jeans, I just didn't have it in me. This also changed last Friday night, so I considered it. Now, Lil swears (and I've heard others say the same thing) that 7s will make your ass look better than it ever has before in jeans. So needless to say, I was curious to see what magic a pair could do to minimize my growing-bigger-at-an-amazing-rate ass...and...they made it look WORSE! We'll just put aside the fact that these jeans are made to only fit amazonian supermodels the likes of Gisele Bundchen, what with their 40 inch inseams, since Nordstrom will take care of that for free. But the ASS, oh the ASS...sorry Lil, they just don't do it for me! So the search for the perfect jeans continues...


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June 1, 2013 at 10:23 PM  

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